I’m not sure what entity you believe in or who you speak to when you’re looking up. It’s also none of my business.
As for me, I look up to God. The biblical God. Jesus Christ. Christianity as a whole. I’m not going to label myself further by dedicating my faith to a denomination. So, I am simply Christian.
I’ve been praying a lot lately, more than usual. I guess that goes along with feeling very lost on my journey up to this point. I tend to lead my prayer with gratitude and thanks. After all, I do have a lot to be thankful for.
But I’d be lying if I said I feel heard lately. I am wondering why my prayers seem to be unheard, ignored, or overlooked. I’m not asking God for material things or to be sent the love of my life. I’m simply asking for direction from this point I’ve reached.
It feels like a dead end. I can’t explain it fully because you’re probably not going to read even half of this anyway, but basically, I’ve made life changing decisions lately because I felt the need to. I was drawn to this point by some force I can’t explain. And now that I am here, I’m lost! Like, what in the hell am I actually doing, lost? Like, what did I just do, lost? Why?
I am doing my best to make sense of the senseless. I’m accepting offers for things I never would have said yes to. Do-gooder activities that are for the…
